I love photography. But I realized today that I love doing therapy even more. There's nothing more exciting than being a change agent, working in the midst of work of transformation in people's lives.
Many friends had asked me what I'll do after I graduate. Will I focus on photography? Or Will I continue to pursue therapy? A choice between two professions that I love? What a good problem to have. My answer is that I will continue to do both. I will remain a professional photographer and at the same time, will work toward getting my MFT licensure. And when I do get my license, I will also be a registered play therapist since I already have enough play therapy hours from my practicum site! But exactly how things will played out - juggle between 2 professions and to start a family - I don't know. And I am totally fine with not knowing. And that I believe is the best part.
Ambiguity.
It's a huge theme for me this past year. I've been dealing with ambiguity on a personal, cultural, and professional level. What I've learned this year is that ambiguity is a gift. It gives us possibilities, which gives us hope. Without ambiguities, there is no room for change, for dreams and imaginations. Resting in ambiguity also proves my faith in God's sovereignty and faithfulness. And it gives me something to look forward to as things unfold on their own in God's appointed time.
6 years ago, I was still at my engineering job, depressed about my job and future. Now 6 years later, I finally begin to understand who I am and being able to do things that I love (thought it also gives me anxiety attacks). The next 6 years I am sure will be all the more amazing.
Praise be to God - the author of my redemptive narrative! :)
Comments (7)
Hey Cindy,
You have essentially captured one of the major tensions that exists in my life. Am I an engineer or a... I don't even know what else I can be, but perhaps doing something with the church. What is additionally challenging is many wiser Christians argue against having too many foci in our vocations. Their words carry decades of experience but, it seems, at least for a season, that God has multiple life passions to nurture for both yourself and for me. Thanks for sharing.
Alex
I still don't like the ambiguity part, but that's mainly because I dunno which direction to take and whether if its' worth it, or should i wait for a clearer revelation. all i know is that I dont' really like where i'm at again. but it's definiltey better than two years ago. It almost make my first job and church at the time seem so distant and hazy.
Thanks Alex! This tension between having multiple 'identities' is definitely a good thing. I found it interesting that people want us to describe ourselves in one sentence ("Hi I'm Alex and I'm an engineer", or "I'm Cindy and I'm a photographer"). When I tell them that I am both a photographer and a therapist, they get really confused which lead them to ask me another question "so what is it that you REALLY want to do?" It's like they are the ones who feel uncomfortable about not knowing who I am base on what I do. But I know myself and I'm a complex individual. And so are you and everyone else. :)
good post. i'm always encouraged to hear people learn what works for them and who they are, especially if it differs from what we are supposed to be. maybe people like being able to categorize others because they want to learn as much as possible about another, but aren't motivated to invest the energy to understand more deeply at that time. i also struggle with personal, cultural, and professional ambiguity, and have found myself wishing this weren't so for financial reasons. not being able to define myself easily tends to frustrate others and makes it harder for them to help me. doing what i love tends to take place at intervals between the things that define me, and i can't possibly be defined by them. i'm slowing begining to embrace the things i feel i am, but still struggle with the ambiguity. sorry for rambling--here, let me define my comment in one sentence: i appreciate and am thankful for your post because i can relate to it and have been thinking about it lately.
love this post!
cindy, i so want to just sit down with you and chit chat, hang, and talk about life & photography. haha. thanks for sharing this. i'm so glad to hear how God has blessed you with so much. i agree, balancing it all is not easy! but we definitely have a God who does know what happens next. and i can't agree with you more about the bit about ambiguity...i find it so much more exciting and challenging. we just have to let go of the reigns. it's been great going through this journey with you in the virtual world. really looking forward to shooting with you in July!
how inspirational!
it is so awesome that you're graduating and moving on to pursue another passion. i hope to have a similar story in a couple years haha...Â