I love photography. But I realized today that I love doing therapy even more. There's nothing more exciting than being a change agent, working in the midst of work of transformation in people's lives.
Many friends had asked me what I'll do after I graduate. Will I focus on photography? Or Will I continue to pursue therapy? A choice between two professions that I love? What a good problem to have. My answer is that I will continue to do both. I will remain a professional photographer and at the same time, will work toward getting my MFT licensure. And when I do get my license, I will also be a registered play therapist since I already have enough play therapy hours from my practicum site! But exactly how things will played out - juggle between 2 professions and to start a family - I don't know. And I am totally fine with not knowing. And that I believe is the best part.
Ambiguity.
It's a huge theme for me this past year. I've been dealing with ambiguity on a personal, cultural, and professional level. What I've learned this year is that ambiguity is a gift. It gives us possibilities, which gives us hope. Without ambiguities, there is no room for change, for dreams and imaginations. Resting in ambiguity also proves my faith in God's sovereignty and faithfulness. And it gives me something to look forward to as things unfold on their own in God's appointed time.
6 years ago, I was still at my engineering job, depressed about my job and future. Now 6 years later, I finally begin to understand who I am and being able to do things that I love (thought it also gives me anxiety attacks). The next 6 years I am sure will be all the more amazing.
Praise be to God - the author of my redemptive narrative! :)
Being at this age is very interesting. I meet all kinds of young people in their twenties/early thirties who are at completely different stages of life - unlike in high school or in college where everyone around you is at the same place as you are - single, trying to finish school, etc. But now, I have friends who already have 2 kids and they have gone through so much more of life even though they are younger than me. Then there are those who are older than me but are still single. Some of them (both younger and older) have no clue on even how to interact with the opposite sex. There are those who are super successful in their career and then those who are still finishing school. There are those are mature, generous, nurturing to others and then those who are selfish and incredibly immature. It's even more weird to think that when my mom was at my age, I was already 2 years old. Wow. Weird. And now half of my close friends are pregnant or already have kids. CRAZY!! But not really, considering I'm freakin' 29 years old and turning 30 soon in a month. But wasn't it not too long ago that I was 13?
Should we stay in San Diego or move back to N.Cal?
Pros in staying in San Diego: - Wedding photography business - we can shoot weddings all year round and I love to shoot outdoor weddings. We are getting more established here. - We like our church here (Kairos Christian Church) - It's cheaper to live here. - It's a pain to move. - We currently live really close to our friends! Cons: Allergies and dry weather. Unless you live close to the Ocean, San Diego is not that pretty due to lack of trees. Bad Chinese food.
Pros in moving to N.Cal: - Closer to my parents - good for us when we have kids. - Nat is in Davis and he wants to stay in the bay area, i think. - Closer to all of my college friends. - Bay area feels more like home. - More trees and rain. It's prettier. Better Chinese food. Cons: Expensive. We cannot afford to live close to our friends. Moving our business to N.Cal is a huge risk.
I love this video!! Besides the fact that I love Jay Chou and his music - the cinematography of this video is simply beautiful. There are so many scenes that I absolutely love! I have had this album (CD) for several years and I can't believe I didn't discover this MTV earlier.
Recently I have been wondering how much time I've wasted on studying math/engineering. :( I seriously hated math! It just made no sense to me.
I remember when I was little, I was inspired to be a film director, or at least to be part of a production. It has always been a wish that you know will never come true. The consistent though implicit message that I received from my surrounding environment is that this wish is unrealistic. You don't have the talent and you don't have the resources so don't even dream about it. This dream quickly became no more than a fleeting thought that I have learned to suppress.
Being a photographer is the closest I've ever been to this dream of mine. I feel like I've just begun to slowly peel away layers of confusion and getting to the core of who I am. To this, I need to thank Bethel's MFT program. I wouldn't have became in touch with my inner self and feelings if I didn't write papers after papers about myself and family of origin. I'm so glad that I've arrived a place where I finally feel comfortable and happy about myself.
